"Once Upon a Time" by Gabriel Okara

 "Once Upon a Time"

by Gabriel Okara

Once upon a time, son,
they used to laugh with their hearts
and laugh with their eyes:
but now they only laugh with their teeth,
while their ice-block-cold eyes
search behind my shadow.

There was a time indeed
they used to shake hands with their hearts:
but that’s gone, son.
Now they shake hands without hearts
while their left hands search
my empty pockets.

‘Feel at home!’ ‘Come again’:
they say, and when I come
again and feel
at home, once, twice,
there will be no thrice-
for then I find doors shut on me.

So I have learned many things, son.
I have learned to wear many faces
like dresses – homeface,
officeface, streetface, hostface,
cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles
like a fixed portrait smile.

And I have learned too
to laugh with only my teeth
and shake hands without my heart.
I have also learned to say,’Goodbye’,
when I mean ‘Good-riddance’:
to say ‘Glad to meet you’,
without being glad; and to say ‘It’s been
nice talking to you’, after being bored.

But believe me, son.
I want to be what I used to be
when I was like you. I want
to unlearn all these muting things.
Most of all, I want to relearn
how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror
shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!

So show me, son,
how to laugh; show me how
I used to laugh and smile
once upon a time when I was like you

Summary

"Once Upon a Time" by Gabriel Okara is a reflective poem that explores themes of nostalgia, change, and the loss of innocence and sincerity. The speaker, likely a father, addresses his son, lamenting the way people have changed over time, particularly in how they interact with others.

The poem begins with the speaker reminiscing about a time when people were more genuine and sincere. He recalls how, in the past, people greeted each other with warmth and their actions were heartfelt. Smiles were genuine, and emotions were openly expressed.

As the poem progresses, the speaker contrasts this with the present, where people have become insincere and superficial. He notes how smiles are now often fake, described as "smiling with their teeth" but not with their hearts. The speaker observes that modern interactions are often guided by self-interest rather than genuine care.

The speaker expresses regret for having adapted to this new way of behaving. He admits that he has learned to wear a mask of politeness and insincerity, acting out of necessity to fit into this changed world. However, he longs to return to the innocence of his past, a time when emotions and relationships were more authentic.

In the closing lines, the speaker turns to his son, expressing a desire to unlearn the insincerity he has adopted and to regain the childlike innocence and honesty he once had. He yearns to "laugh with their hearts" again, indicating a deep desire to reconnect with genuine emotions.

Key Themes:

1. Nostalgia for the Past

• The poem is permeated with a deep sense of nostalgia. The speaker yearns for a time when life was simpler and interactions were genuine. This longing for the past reflects a dissatisfaction with the present, where sincerity has been replaced by artificiality.

2. Loss of Authenticity and Innocence

• A major theme is the loss of authenticity in human behavior. The speaker contrasts the past, when people were genuine, with the present, where interactions are marked by insincerity. This loss is symbolic of a broader cultural shift towards artificiality, where people hide their true feelings behind masks of politeness and formality.

3. Cultural and Social Change

• The poem critiques how societal and cultural changes have led to a decline in genuine human connections. It suggests that modern society has become more superficial, prioritizing appearances and self-interest over genuine relationships.

4. Superficiality and Hypocrisy

• Okara highlights the superficial nature of modern interactions, where people smile with their teeth but not with their hearts. This symbolizes the duplicity and hypocrisy in contemporary society, where outward expressions often mask true intentions.

5. Desire for Reclamation of Innocence

• The speaker’s desire to "unlearn" the insincerity and return to a state of innocence and authenticity is a key theme. He envies his son's purity and untainted nature, which contrasts with his own learned insincerity.